Saturday, February 14, 2009

Long Distance Love

Mr. Apple Cider and I have been together for 5 years and 5 months. We have been "apart" 3 long years and 5 grueling months. We haven't lived in the same town/city since college and the most consecutive time we have spent together since college has been around 10 days.

I will be honest and say that it has been tough. There have been ups and downs. We have had to learn to communicate, trust, believe, be patient (more me than him) and so much more.

(my favorite postcard from Rarrar Press)

Our time together is always wonderful and while we are apart we have had to explore different ways of communicating. When you only talk on the phone we found it difficult to get into really in depth conversations every day. When you live together (which we never have) I think you communicate differently. You are able to talk about your day, current news and issues. So we had to find a way to do that being apart.

About 2 years ago we bought the book "All About Us" and agreed to do the book together, filling sections out and mailing the book back and forth. If you aren't familiar with the book, basically each person answers questions about hopes, dreams, sex, daily routines and more. You have to promise to be open and honest and not hold back.

(image from urban outfitters)

Here are some of the questions they ask:
  • As a teenager what was the most surprising thing about being in love?
  • 3 things you dislike about being in a relationship
  • What caused your worst hangover?
  • What is the 1st thing you noticed about your partner when you met?
  • Yes or is a battlefield
  • An unusual place where you and your partner have made love
  • Something you are now prepared to reveal to your partner
  • Someone who might have been the perfect mate for you but was already taken
(image source)

Once we completed the book we wanted to continue communicating other than just through the phone and we thought it might be fun to send questions back and forth through email. Every other day one of us would ask a question that we both had to answer.

Some of the questions we made up were:
  • What frustrates you the most about your sister?
  • If you could live anywhere in the world where would you want to live? and why?
  • If you were to wake up and be in a bad mood what song do you think would turn your mood around?
  • If you were going to work for any charity/humanitarian effort what cause would you choose?
  • If we get married next year...ideally when do you want to start a family?
Just before we got engaged we stopped asking the questions. Luckily we have made a point to see each other more often since being engaged.

What have you and your fiancee done to keep the communicating fresh and alive?

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